Wakeup Call
by YonderB
Summary: Bobby decides to wake John up a completely different way... Colourful swearing. You are warned. slash and nonslash alternate chapters on the way.
1. spawn of evil

It was a freezing winter morning, snow was packing on the windowsills and covering the ground in a glittering carpet of crystals, a thin mist wafting about the ground as the sky slowly turned grey-gold as the sun poked it's golden face over the horizon.

Bobby rolled over, blearily staring at his clock that was glowing at him from his bedside table.

_Eight thirty._

Bobby's eyes slowly floated over to the bed next to him, his eyes slowly focussing.

John was lying on his stomach, his blankets packed as closely as possible to him, the only skin even _slightly_ visible was his nose and up, which was conveniently buried in his feather pillow.

Bobby grinned and slid out of bed, not able to sense the cold, since he was immune to it, because of his mutation. Walking over to the window, Bobby slid it up, grabbing a handful of snow from the window ledge before closing the window again.

Walking over to his sleeping roommate, Bobby slowly kneaded at the snow in his hand, making it colder.

John mumbled softly in his sleep, shifting slightly, but still sleeping.

Bobby tugged John's blanket off, surprisingly, without a struggle. John now lay on the bed, his legs under the blanket, his long-sleeved grey shirt and baggy black pants the only things keeping him from the cold.

Bobby grinned. Tugging John's shirt up, Bobby saw Pyro's delicate, pale spine.

John shifted in his sleep, making Bobby freeze.

Pyro let out a sigh, rolling onto his back, one arm flicked to the side, the other under his pillow, John's face facing upwards, smooth lips slightly parted.

_Still_ asleep.

Bobby's grin got wider, staring down at the sliver of pale stomach that was peeking from under John's shirt.

Holding the snowball just centimeters from John's stomach, Bobby couldn't help but let out a soft, evil cackle, letting the snowball fall, square, onto John's belly-button.

A scream of absolute horror echoed around the mansion, the volume and shrill-ness making Kitty look accusingly at Siryn, who just rose her eyebrows.

Point two seconds later, Bobby pelted out of his room, laughing like a lunatic, balls of fire, violent curse words and random pieces of furniture being thrown after him.

((END. i might continue this, i really don't know. XD i hope you like it.))


	2. longing for revenge

Rogue awoke to a loud scream somewhere upstairs and blinked, sitting up and looking at Kitty, Jubilee and Siryn, who were paying snakes and ladders on Kitty's bed.

"What's going on?" Rogue asked, rubbing her eyes lightly.

"I dunno." shrugged Kitty simply, sliding her piece down the snake on the board, eyeing Siryn suspiciously while Jubilee braided her hair.

Siryn poked her tongue out at Kitty and grinned.

At that moment, all four girls –and the rest of the mansion, for that matter– heard a loud crash, that resembled a rather expensive vase crashing against the wall.

All four girls stared at each other.

Suddenly, the door flew open and Bobby zoomed in, before slamming it shut again, panting and giggling like an idiot, his back against the door.

"_Bobby_?" Rogue and Kitty blinked.

_WHAM_

Bobby flinched, turning around and pushing desperately against the door, the door trembling as someone on the other side whacked something against it again.

_WHAM_

"Bobby?" Rogue blinked again. "What's going on?"

Bobby grinned over his shoulder at her, while Jubilee nudged Siryn in the shoulder and pointed at Bobby's pokemon boxer shorts.

"YOU MOTHER FUCKING _BASTARD_!" came a scream from behind the door, something being whacked against the door again, with impossible force.

The four girls exchanged a look while Bobby started giggling hysterically.

"Dude, are you high?" questioned Jubilee with raised eyebrows.

_WHAM_

"BASTARD! YOU COCK-SUCKING B--!"

"_JOHN_!"

The sound of something heavy falling to the ground echoed around the room, and Bobby pressed his ear against the door.

"Miss Monroe!"

"John! What is the meaning of this!"

Bobby grinned against the door.

Kitty and Siryn rummaged around in Kitty's bedside table for a camera.

John pointed at the door opposite him desperately, trying his best to do his best puppy-eyes look at the flustered teacher in front of him. "Bobby fucking--"

"_Language_, John!"

"Huh? Oh. Right. Well, Bobby woke me up by sticking snow down my pants, and I want to get him back, miss." John explained, noticing it sounded rather lame.

The african-american woman before him didn't look impressed, her fluffy blue night-gown billowing slightly at her feet, a delicate white eyebrow raised.

Suddenly, the door peeked open, there was a flash of light, then the door clicked closed again.

"Damn. John wasn't in boxer shorts." pouted Kitty, Siryn and Jubilee crowded around the photo with her.

Rogue sat there, on her bed, silent as a rock, wondering what, _exactly_, was going on.

Bobby sat with his back against the door, continuing to giggle.

Kitty, Jubilee and Siryn deduced, by looking very closely at the picture, that John was wearing HellBoy boxer shorts.

On the other side of the door, John picked up his metal baseball bat to attack the door again, but was stopped by a very disgruntled –and somehow visibly bed-headded– Wolverine.

"What the _fuck_ you doin', Pyro?"

((TBC. you all talked me into it. and i thank you for it! ... anyway, i'm confused. i don't know if this should be slash or not. i've been asked to have this be not slash, _and _for this to be slash. hmmmm... anyway, i love you all, and yes, i will continue. XD))


	3. lemme att'im

John had his baseball bat yanked out of his hands and he glared at Logan, who, for the most part, was naked.

Okay, not naked, but he wasn't wearing anything but a rather worn and ripped pair of shorts... that had a rather dangerous rip near the crotch.

"Give it back!" John snapped, jumping to grab the bat, but Logan merely held it above his head, thus, John got a good view of his rippling muscles, since his nose was now mere inches away from Logan's chest.

Most girls would die to see Logan's muscles up close, but, as most would know; John wasn't a girl.

"GIVE IT BACK, YOU MOTHER F--"

_BZZT_

"_YAARRGHH_!"

_THUD_

"_Language_, John!" Ororo snapped, looking down at the crumpled boy at Logan's feet, her hair crackling with electricity as she stomped over to the two of them.

John merely let out a growl, rubbing his tingling legs.

Logan poked John in the side of the head with the baseball bat, looking over at the African-American woman who was standing over the boy. "What's goin' on, Storm?"

Ororo sighed softly, tightening the belt that was holding her dressing-gown around her. "Apparently Bobby dropped snow down John's pants to wake him up."

Logan's eyes widened and he shuddered. "Oooh, fuck."

John glared up at the two adults, his legs tingling, vaguely wondering why Logan was allowed to swear, and he wasn't.

Logan knelt down and patted John's shoulder in a somber manner, the baseball bat held at his side. "Kid, you're very brave to be walking around after what happened to you, since you don't have a healing mutation."

Bobby heaved himself onto his feet, giggling slowly subsiding. "Kitty?"

Kitty looked up, while Siryn and Jubilee looked up also, Rogue watching her boyfriend questioningly from the bed.

"I need to get outta here." Bobby said simply.

John raised an impossibly slender eyebrow. "He didn't exactly drop it down my pants... So to say... More or less, on my stomach..." he said slowly.

Logan let out a breath, the smell of alcohol wafting over John's face. "Phew. Havin' ya wiener frozen off would've been a bad way to go."

John nodded, agreeing whole-heartedly.

"Bobby!" blinked Storm.

John's head whipped around so fast his neck cracked.

Bobby's head was currently poking out of the door, Kitty's beside it.

"How are you feeling, dear little _Johnny_?" Bobby grinned at Pyro, Kitty looking slightly nervous.

"I'm fine, Bobby." John gritted through his teeth. "But believe me, i'll get you back. I _will_..."

"Sure you will, little man." smirked Bobby, while Ororo gave Logan a questioning look, and Logan merely shrugged and stood.

"Ooh. Suave. _Very_ suave." John purred, his lips quirked in a small smirk, his hand wandering to the baseball bat that was lying on the floor beside him.

"You didn't even deny it." Bobby grinned, raising his eyebrows innocently.

"Excuse me?" blinked John, his fingers slowly curling around the cold metal of the bat.

"That you're _little_." Bobby breathed, placing delicate stress on the last word, a completely and utterly innocent look upon his face.

John straitened and Kitty squeaked, his cheeks paled, while her cheeks flushed.

"... you... _BASTARD_!"

_WHAM_

Bobby only just yanked his and Kitty's heads out of the door before the baseball bat crashed into it, the two of them stumbling back a few paces as John continued to pummel the door with the bat.

"BASTARD! BASTARD! _BASTARD_!" John screamed.

Ororo grabbed John and yanked the struggling teen away from the door, looking pleadingly at Logan as Pyro continued to scream fluently in curse words.

"Don' look at me." Logan said simply, scratching his messy head of hair, making no move to help Storm. "It's not like _i'm_ his teacher."

"What is it with boys and comparing penis-sizes?" Jubilee asked innocently from upon Rogue's bed when Kitty removed her hand from Bobby's and sat on her bed with Siryn, Rogue slowly digesting what was happening.

"Habit and curiosity for the outcome." Bobby answered offhandedly, looking at the seemingly innocent door, that was now still.

Ororo shoved John into Logan's arms and gave him a glare before hurrying down the hallway.

John made to attack the door again, and Logan sighed, grabbing the teen's wrists. "Why _me_?" sighed the elder mutant in an ever-suffering voice.

"Lemme go!" John screamed, thrashing in Logan's grasp with more energy than one would expect from someone who was woken up in a rather rude manner.

"Hey, John!"

John and Logan looked to their right to see Bobby walking through one of the walls down the hall, Kitty in tow.

Logan had to grab John around the middle and pick him up, to stop the teen sprinting at the other teen. "You're not _helping_, Bobby!" growled Wolverine.

Bobby gave Kitty a grateful look, and the girl blushed and smiled, letting go of his hand before disappearing through the wall again.

_click_

_whoosh!_

"_AARGHHH_! NOT THE HAIR!"

_thud_

Bobby's eyes widened. "Oh shit."

John grinned from down on the floor, Logan having dropped him, his eyes alight with a maniac fire, Logan's hair also alight, but literally. Logan stumbling around and bellowing in rage, before running down the opposite hall to find some water.

Turning, Bobby ran like the dogs of hell were after him, the hallways zooming past in the blur, feeling cold mist pour from his mouth, Bobby got an idea.

"YOU ARE _SO_ DEAD, BOBBY!" John screamed with glee, sprinting after his prey.

Bobby watched as the staircase to downstairs came closer. Thrusting his hands out in front of him, ice streaked through at the air from Bobby's hands, engulfing the staircase and making it a glittering white slide.

((TBC. okay, i've figured out what i'm going to do. i'm half-way through the next chapter, and Bobby and John just kissed. so, i'm going to have two alternate chapters so i don't frighten anyone. so, for those who didn't get it; **there will be TWO chapter FOURs after this. one SLASH, and one NOT SLASH.** and i think it will most likely be the last chapter...s. if persuaded, i might do a sequel. i'm not really sure. i doubt it, though. oh, btw, THANK YOU FOR READING!))


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